Category Archives: TRICKS

♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

♦ I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

♦ A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.

♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.

♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.

♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

♦ Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.

♦ You’re not fat, you’re just… easier to see.

♦ If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

♦ I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “ Sag Harbor .”

♦ My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

♦ My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.

♦ Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today.  I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

♦The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

♦ I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

For those who need to know everything


The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood Plasma.
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 No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
Oh , go ahead …  I’ll wait.

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Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks.
 (So, watch your Ass)

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 You burn more calories sleeping! than you do watching television.
 
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The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.
 
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The King of Hearts is the only King WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
 
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American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1)  olive from each salad served in first-class.
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Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you? That women are going in the ‘right’ direction…!
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Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning

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Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

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The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first ‘Marlboro Man’.
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Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!

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PEARLS DISSOLVE IN VINEGAR!
 
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The ten most valuable brand names on earth:  Apple, Coca Cola, Google, IBM, Microsoft, GE, McDonalds, Samsung, Intel and Toyota , in that order.
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 It IS possible to lead a cow upstairs…  but, NOT downstairs.
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A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.

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Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least Six  (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
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A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said:
 “I would like to buy some cyanide.”
 The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
 The lady replied: “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big  and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. Absolutely not! You CANNOT  have any cyanide!”  
 The lady reached into her purse  and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the  pharmacist’s wife.
 The pharmacist looked at the  picture and said:

  “You didn’t tell me you  had a prescription.”

Playing cards

The Chinese invented playing cards circa AD 1000.

Some interesting facts and observations about “Playing cards”:

Did you know that the Traditional Deck of the Playing Cards are a strikingly coherent form of a Calendar?

There are 52 weeks in the year and there are 52 Playing Cards in a Deck.

There are 13 weeks in each Season and there are 13 cards in each suit.

There are 4 Seasons in a Year and 4 Suits in the Deck.

There are 12 Months in a Year so there are 12 Court Cards (Those with faces namely Jack, Queen, King in each suit)

The Red Cards represent Day, while Black Cards represent the Night.

If you let Jacks = 11, Queens = 12, and the Kings = 13, then add up all the sums of 1 + 2 + 3 + …to 13 = 91. Multiply

this by 4, for the 4 Suits, therefore 91 x 4 = 364, Add 1 that is the Joker and you will arrive at the number 365 being the

Days in a Year?

Is that a mere coincidence or a greater intelligence?

Of interest is the sum of the letters in all the names of the cards, e.g., add up the letters in

“one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, Jack, Queen, King” = 52!

The Spades indicate ploughing or working.

The Hearts indicates Love thy crops.

The Clubs indicates flourishing and growth.

The Diamonds indicate reaping the wealth.

Also, in some card games 2 Jokers are used; Indicating the Leap year.

There is a deeper Philosophy than just merely Playing Cards.

The Mathematical perfection is mind blowing.

www.garbowski.net

Ponder these

interesting

– Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned

– What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?

– If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

– Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?

– Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn’t it be called double V?

– Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

– Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

– The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims”.

– Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.

– 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

– Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

– The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead.

– If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them.

– Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

– If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.

· If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we’ll just call it “2’s Day”.  (It does fall on a Tuesday)

– 100 years ago a Twenty Dollar bill and a Twenty Dollar gold piece were interchangeable. Either one would buy a new suit, new shoes and a night on the town. The Twenty Dollar gold piece will still do that.

garbowski.net

your Brain-TEST

 

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.

As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert.

If you don’t use it, you will lose it !!!

 

Here is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to your last test.

Some may think it is too easy, but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.

 

Take this test to determine if you’re losing it or not.

 

The spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve answered.

 

OK, RELAX, clear your mind and begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

#1. What do you put in a toaster ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answer: ‘bread.’ If you said ‘toast’, just give up now and go do something else.

 

And, try not to hurt yourself.   If you said, bread, go to Question #2.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

# 2. Say ‘silk’ ten times. Now spell ‘silk.’ What do cows drink ?

 

THE TRICK IS TO FIND THE MAN IN THE COFFEE BEANS

This is bizarre – after you find the guy – it’s so obvious.
Once you find him – it’s embarrassing, and you think,
Why didn’t I see him immediately?
Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people.
 
If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein.
If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!

And, yes, the man is really there!!