Category Archives: FUN & ILLUSIONS

cynical but humorous statements

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

A recent study has found that woman who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.

You’re not fat, you’re just… easier to see.

If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations.  I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.

Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.”  If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today.  I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me.  I had no idea I was Japanese.

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!


The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

Cat Shrubs

Cat-shrubs in English parks. The English surrealist painter Richard Saunders uses thick shrubs and trees to create his enormous cats! Once he saw trees cut in the shape of clouds on a picture and got the idea to turn shrubs into sculptures of cats. The prototype that served him is his cat Tolly, deceased, the Russian Blue. 

We can see these cats in many corners of England, and are much appreciated by the population. 

Playing cards

The Chinese invented playing cards circa AD 1000.

Some interesting facts and observations about “Playing cards”:

Did you know that the Traditional Deck of the Playing Cards are a strikingly coherent form of a Calendar?

There are 52 weeks in the year and there are 52 Playing Cards in a Deck.

There are 13 weeks in each Season and there are 13 cards in each suit.

There are 4 Seasons in a Year and 4 Suits in the Deck.

There are 12 Months in a Year so there are 12 Court Cards (Those with faces namely Jack, Queen, King in each suit)

The Red Cards represent Day, while Black Cards represent the Night.

If you let Jacks = 11, Queens = 12, and the Kings = 13, then add up all the sums of 1 + 2 + 3 + …to 13 = 91. Multiply

this by 4, for the 4 Suits, therefore 91 x 4 = 364, Add 1 that is the Joker and you will arrive at the number 365 being the

Days in a Year?

Is that a mere coincidence or a greater intelligence?

Of interest is the sum of the letters in all the names of the cards, e.g., add up the letters in

“one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, Jack, Queen, King” = 52!

The Spades indicate ploughing or working.

The Hearts indicates Love thy crops.

The Clubs indicates flourishing and growth.

The Diamonds indicate reaping the wealth.

Also, in some card games 2 Jokers are used; Indicating the Leap year.

There is a deeper Philosophy than just merely Playing Cards.

The Mathematical perfection is mind blowing.

www.garbowski.net

Ponder these

interesting

– Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned

– What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?

– If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

– Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?

– Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn’t it be called double V?

– Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

– Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

– The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims”.

– Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.

– 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

– Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

– The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead.

– If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them.

– Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

– If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.

· If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we’ll just call it “2’s Day”.  (It does fall on a Tuesday)

– 100 years ago a Twenty Dollar bill and a Twenty Dollar gold piece were interchangeable. Either one would buy a new suit, new shoes and a night on the town. The Twenty Dollar gold piece will still do that.

garbowski.net

your Brain-TEST

 

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.

As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert.

If you don’t use it, you will lose it !!!

 

Here is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to your last test.

Some may think it is too easy, but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.

 

Take this test to determine if you’re losing it or not.

 

The spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve answered.

 

OK, RELAX, clear your mind and begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

#1. What do you put in a toaster ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answer: ‘bread.’ If you said ‘toast’, just give up now and go do something else.

 

And, try not to hurt yourself.   If you said, bread, go to Question #2.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

# 2. Say ‘silk’ ten times. Now spell ‘silk.’ What do cows drink ?

 

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic.

 

This is a strictly …..  mathematical viewpoint… and it goes like this:

 

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

 

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

 

How about achieving 103%?

 

What makes up 100% in life?

 

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

 

iF:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

 

Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

 

Then:

 

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =  98%

 

And

 

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =  96%

 

But ,

 

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =  100%

 

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 =  103%

 

And, look how far ass kissing will take you.

 

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7  = 118%

 

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that whileHardwork and Knowledge will get you close, and

 

Attitude will get you there. It’s the Bullshit and 

Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

 

Now you know why Politicians are where they are!

 

I’ve never seen a better explanation than this formula. .

 

TO ALL INTELLIGENT FRIENDS:

I am showing this only to smart friends.

See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common?

1. Banana

2. Dresser

3. Grammar

4. Potato

5. Revive

6. Uneven

7. Assess

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ahhhhh, your peeking !! 🙁   go back and check the words again!!!!!!!

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Answer is below!

Answer:

In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word. Did you figure it out? No? Then send this to more people and stump them as well. Then, you’ll feel better too.

www.garbowski.net

 

A Fantastic Collection of Photographs

 some nice sights to brighten your day !

[] A cool looking Volcano in Ethiopia has blue lava apparently due to a high sulphur content.

[]
An innovative playground in Copenhagen that has trampolines built into the street for the kids to jump on.

[]

This photo could just be the perfect mountain sunrise you’ll ever see

[]

Running in Florida doesn’t look that appealing.  (Whoa!!  This HAS TO BE the Tamiami Trail in the Everglades.)

Awwe

Photo of a baby deer taken on Memorial Day 2013 at Jefferson Barracks Cemetery in St. Louis.

My grandparents, married 71 years.

After being married for 71 years if all you are left with is the love of your life and a couch in the woods I think you did OK

[]

Keyhole Rock at Pfeiffer Beach in Big Sur California provides a beautiful ocean cave sunset photograph.

[]

Some cool beach art on a beach in New Zealand. I can imagine how difficult it is to make 3D Beach Artwork.

[]

A look at Bavaria with lots of color in this photograph.

[]

The Swedish Air Force likes to camouflage it’s aircraft hangers like this jet cave hiding a fighter jet

[]

This Oceanside path in Spain looks like a cool place to take a hike.

Towing an iceberg offshore Newfoundland

[]

A beautiful photo of the San Juan Mountains in Colorado. Chimney Rock is on the left and Courthouse Mountain is on the right.

[]

Apparently these beach boulders are located at Moeraki, New Zealand and occur naturally.

[]

It appears that this group of Gibbons are singing together. Perhaps they’re singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight“.

Buddy Hayman, Billy O’Neill, Ward Vaughn, Jimmy Hearn, Jimmy Ball, and Burton Fitch

[]

A cool picture of a Kingfisher with the catch of the day. The colors of this bird are just beautiful.

[]

If you like adventure and aren’t afraid of heights then this Extreme Mountain Bike Trail is for you to ride.

Gelada baboon

The Gelada Baboon in this photo taken in Ethiopia looks so thoughtful and wise as he sits on his mountain perch.

www.garbowski.net

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THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED IN SCHOOL

 

Not everything we learn in school is very useful but if they had taught us more about this stuff then we would definitely all be a bit smarter.

How the Big Bird suit worked
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ilf3rKpA_IE/VE5S_ShAR_I/AAAAAAACJvw/iH8hMNaX7Dc/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_01.gif
How ice cream cones are made
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KcUggpLtPqA/VE5TFmGz2II/AAAAAAACJv4/f7h2vXP_R2k/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_02.gif
How a beanstalk grows
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kT4qxyk81kQ/VE5TQE1Z03I/AAAAAAACJwA/pgiTAvwz0_M/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_03.gif
How Wi-Fi is distributed inside an apartment
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jGIgC-diiTE/VE5T8pfYP1I/AAAAAAACJwg/9h40UzfgGVA/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_04.gif
What actually happens when you put on sunscreen
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yJ4QNb5MXJs/VE5TXjcH0qI/AAAAAAACJwI/jw48JoYPUyE/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_05.gif
How camouflage gets on a helmet
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U46SCXDdt4w/VE5Thm3do7I/AAAAAAACJwQ/4ID8G3wg1w4/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_06.gif
Why Michael Jackson was able to defy gravity
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oTPGqmZZ7Ow/VE5T3-LXgeI/AAAAAAACJwY/DDNya7VmA6I/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_07.gif
What dogs do when they drink water
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7IVVYqJJvD4/VE5UjZF9DoI/AAAAAAACJww/gHkIdjK46jQ/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_08.gif
How coins get sorted inside a machine
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FBNvJJ1XU94/VE5UbKUi31I/AAAAAAACJwo/1p-rptBcOnU/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_09.gif
The way braces change your teeth
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QZ_2avKNHPY/VE5U6PQkkzI/AAAAAAACJxA/MutVUom9hP0/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_10.gif
How a trumpet makes that beautiful music
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Z-CBPFzY7Nw/VE5Ukdwyo7I/AAAAAAACJw0/4CGgUrq4Xd0/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_11.gif
The way pretzels are tied en masse
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rFApjvR7GPc/VE5VqjiSJcI/AAAAAAACJxg/ulTOa9nDnTA/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_12.gif
How peanut butter jars are filled full of creamy, slightly sexual goodness
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sPMxZkLT7qU/VE5VG5lB_hI/AAAAAAACJxI/DJxcjjbAhx4/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_13.gif
What actually happens when you put a key in a door
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NENp0IxmppE/VE5VYykcJVI/AAAAAAACJxQ/NrSFlX7Bxf0/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_15.gif
How exactly all that stuff gets into a Pop-Tart
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NlvDgTZN8cI/VE5Vrid3rNI/AAAAAAACJxk/vnJzx51SarM/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_16.gif
What it looks like when you swallow
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Pr0G6sRS7-I/VE5VjIf3-rI/AAAAAAACJxY/a9i0JYhW7Eg/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_17.gif
How hay bales get wrapped
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PrtKl7W37jc/VE5VzjtZ1DI/AAAAAAACJxw/xBpMCnGlxmw/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_18.gif
How light affects water
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pBvst0xARyE/VE5V5Imc3TI/AAAAAAACJx4/3-XTioW-js4/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_19.gif
How paper clips turn into paper clips
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X8_RePQPVVk/VE5WiseQ0fI/AAAAAAACJyA/aiOEoRtD9II/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_20.gif
How a traffic jam occurs despite no accidents or bad weather
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_ZK0_qCq0Yg/VE5XDrHLNdI/AAAAAAACJyU/fJUoyb7DCi4/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_21.gif
The life of a dandelion
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1zVqWZJtuHs/VE5W3VHKNZI/AAAAAAACJyI/ZIfQl9aacjA/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_22.gif
How flight patterns change throughout the day
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-soFMyM6kZxM/VE5XDMcExiI/AAAAAAACJyQ/4CQpvOM5rGI/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_23.gif
And how terrifying the human face is when it’s forming in the womb
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Qo5x3bsFauk/VE5XFcXWHII/AAAAAAACJyg/rJucCq3byWw/s1600/things_you_should_have_learnt_in_school_24.gif

 

Kid’s sense- funny…

 Why it is tough to be a teacher of the young.  These are young ones who listen closely to how a question is presented and answer appropriately.  Sharp kids…………

Kids make a lot of sense  …

  • Out of the mouths of babes…..
  • Teacher:  How old is your father?
  • Kid:          He is 6 years.
  • Teacher:  What?  How is this possible?
  • Kid:          He became father only when I was born.
  • (Logic!!  Children are quick and always speak their minds.)

_____________________

  • TEACHER:  Maria, go to the map and find North America.
  • MARIA:        Here it is.
  • TEACHER:  Correct.  Now, Class, who discovered America?
  • CLASS:        Maria.

_____________________

  • TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
  • GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
  • TEACHER:  No, that’s wrong
  • GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
  • (I love this child.)

_____________________

  • TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
  • DONALD:    H I J K L M N O.
  • TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
  • DONALD:    Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

______________________

  • TEACHER:  Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s.  Did you copy his?
  • CLYDE:        No, sir; It’s the same dog.
  • (I want to adopt this kid!!!)

___________________

  • TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
  • HAROLD:    A teacher.

______________________________

SHARE THIS AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!

LAUGHTER  IS THE SOUL’S MEDICINE!!     WWW.GARBOWSKI.NET

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The Card Stacker

Don’t Sneeze Or Slam The Door ….

Have you ever seen “a house of cards” that didn’t collapse?
Well, here it is…

Bryan Berg is a professional “card stacker” who builds houses of cards on a very large scale.
Trained as an architect, Bryan Berg is the only known person to make living building structures with freestanding playing cards.

He uses no tape, glue, or tricks, and his method has been tested to support 660 lbs. Per square foot.

Berg has stacked cards for corporate special events, public relations campaigns, and science and children’s museums in many U.S. Cities, Canada, Europe and Asia.

Berg’s clients have included Walt Disney World, a Lexus commercial, Procter & Gamble, American major league baseball and hockey, and the San Francisco Opera among others.
He also participated in a music video by The Bravery, playing a lonely man who builds a fantasy world out of cards.

In 2004, Guinness created a record category for World’s Largest House of Freestanding Playing Cards to recognize a project Berg built for Walt Disney World, a replica of Cinderella’s Castle.

In 2010, the record was renewed by him using 4051 sets of cards, over 218,000 cards, and built in 44 days, a replica of the Venetian Macao.

 

isn’t beautiful?

come back to:    www.garbowski.net

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SCRABBLE WIZARD

 Someone out there
Must be “deadly” at Scrabble.

 

It’s going to be hard to top because
It fits to a “T”

 

PRESBYTERIAN 
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

  

ASTRONOMER 
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

  

DESPERATION :
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

  

THE EYES 
When you rearrange the letters:   
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:   
HE BUGS GORE 

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters: 
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY :
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

  

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:   
CASH LOST IN ME

  

ELECTION RESULTS :
When you rearrange the letters: 
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS 
When you rearrange the letters: 
ALAS!  NO MORE Z’S

A DECIMAL POINT 
When you rearrange the letters:
I’M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES 
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO 
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Will Rogers Sayings

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political country/cowboy sages this country has ever known. Some of his sayings:

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman, … Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men:

The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

11. Lettin’ the cat outta’ the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER…

First ~Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

And, finally ~ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.

 

garbowski.net

Unusual staircases

15

This one would be confusing at first.
Start with the wrong foot and you are in trouble
1

I love this one and the next one up has hinges for more storage
2

Awsome I love this one

 

  3

Up. Thou shalt not waste space

4

Same one looking down.


Wheeeeeeeeeeee……..

5

Makes me seasick

6

Well, maybe not

7

 

Looking down                                    Looking up

This is another one that is confusing to navigate.

Never start off on the wrong foot.

 

8

 

9

 

Now this I know I would get nauseous.

10

What the……? (strong glue)

11

 

This one looks like it should be musical or a giant blender

 

 

 

 

 

 

12

Neat, but is it touching the ground?

13

I guess not. This is an engineering marvel.

Where is this one?I want to see this.

14

garbowski.net

Southern Life

 

 Florida

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the
dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the
wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

“Amazing,”
he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights
flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then
120.  Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and
pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the
Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.  Today is Friday.  If you can give me a new reason for speeding – a reason I’ve never before heard – I’ll let you go..”

The old gentleman paused then said, “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper.  I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper.

Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, “Y’all graduated from the University of
Georgia and I need some help.  If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%,
how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everthang but my earrings.”

Louisiana

A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying, “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ..”

When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Louisiana ‘cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world.”

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his
buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”

Bubba replied, “Did y’all see who it was?”

The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”

North
Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road,
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned
around and went back.  He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, “I got a flat tahr.”

The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”

The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.”

Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked,
“Got any ID?”

The driver replied, “Bout whut?”

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?
Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”

“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ‘cause it says: ‘Fine For
Dumping Garbage.’”


Y’all kin say
whut y’all want ‘about the South, but y’all never heard o’ nobody retirin’ an’ movin’ North.

A GERMAN WONDERLAND

AMAZING…

There have been little clips about this place for the past few years, it is still not finished but is growing to that conclusion as they will soon run out of space.  A short review…. it was started by two brothers as a place to show their hobby, it started growing by leaps & bounds.

 

Soon they were joined by other ‘Model Railroad Clubs’ and other craftsmen.  Some were electricians, model makers, carpenters, computer programmers, their wives would stop by to see what they were doing and usually bring them a lunch.  One thing led to another, 3 of the ladies had worked at a bakery,  several visitors would ask if they had a snack bar. The idea was planted, some of the carpenters came and built a nice restaurant area for the bakery and a kitchen too. If the fresh coffee smell didn’t get you then the bakery definitely would.  This was about 5 years ago. One of the Breweries came and furnished all of the tables and chairs, serving counter, etc.  Their latest finished area is the airport.  Planes look like they are flying and landing.

 

 

 

GERMAN WONDERLAND link below –        AMAZING

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/embed/ACkmg3Y64_s?rel=0

garbowski.net

funny… colon

Colon

All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
Trying to decide who was the one in charge.

 

 


“I should be in charge,” said the brain, “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.”

“I should be in charge,” said the blood, “Because I circulate oxygen all over so with out me you’d all waste away.”

“I should be in charge,” said the stomach,” Because I process food and give all of you energy.”

“I should be in charge,” said the legs, “because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.”

“I should be in charge,” said the eyes, “Because I allow the body to see where it goes.”

“I should be in charge,” said the rectum, “Because I’m responsible for waste removal.”

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
And insulted him,
So in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
The stomach was bloated,
The
 legs got wobbl y,
The eyes got watery,
And the
 blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
..
The Moral of the story?
Even though the others do all the work…
The
.. hole is usually in charge


Dementia-test your skills….

 

 Here’s another trick of Doctor Dementia to test your skills….

I’ve  seen this with the letters out of order, but this  is the first time I’ve seen it with numbers. Good  example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that:  Alzheimer’s is a long long, way down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you.


7H15      M3554G3
53RV35      7O PR0V3
H0W      0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0      4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3      7H1NG5!
1N      7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17      WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W,      0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR      M1ND 1S
R34D1NG      17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H      0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG      4B0U7 17,
B3      PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N      P30PL3 C4N
R3AD      7H15.
PL3453      F0RW4RD 1F
U      C4N R34D 7H15.

To my ‘selected’ strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, shere it with  your friends with ‘yes’ in the subject line. Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!

If you can read this, you have a strange mind, too.

Can you read this? Only 55 people out of 100  can.

I cdnuolt  blveiee  that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I  was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of   the hmuan  mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt  tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. 

Azanmig  huh?

Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

love you

garbowski.net

 

Twenty places that don’t look real

1. Bamboo Forest ( China )
                                                           Bamboo-Forest-ChinaImage credits: Yuya Horikawa | Tomoaki Kabe

2. Black Forest ( Germany )

Black-Forest-GermanyImage credits: andy linden

3. Fields of Tea ( China )

Fields-of-Tea-ChinaImage credits: unknown

4. Hang Son Doong ( Vietnam )

Hang-Son-Doong-VietnamImage credits: Carsten Peter

5. Hitachi Seaside Park ( Japan )

Hitachi-Seaside-Park-JapanImage credits: nipomen2 | sename777

6. Lake Hillier ( Australia )

Lake-Hillier-AustraliaImage credits: Ockert Le Roux

7. Lake Retba (Sengal)

Lake-Retba-SengalImage credits: buzzfeed

8. Antelope Canyon ( USA )

Antelope-Canyon-USAImage credits: CSMphotography

9. Lavender Fields (France)

Lavender-Fields-FranceImage credits: Antony Spencer | Erasmus T

10. Mendenhall Ice Caves ( Alaska )

Mendenhall-Ice-Caves-AlaskaImage credits: Kent Mearig

11. Mount Roraima ( South America )

Mount-Roraima-South-AmericaImage credits: imgur.com | Uwe George

12. Naico Mine ( Mexico )

Naico-Mine-Mexico-2Via: daytraveling | tumblr

13. Red Beach ( China )

Red-Beach-ChinaImage credits: MJiA

14. Solar du Uyuni ( Bolivia )

Solar-du-Uyuni-BoliviaImage credits: dadi360

15. Tianzi Mountains ( China )

Tianzi-Mountains-ChinaImage credits: Richard Janecki

16. Tulip Fields ( Netherlands )

Tulip-Fields-NetherlandsImage credits: nicole_denise

17. Tunnel of Love ( Ukraine )

Tunnel-of-Love-UkraineImage credits: Oleg Gordienko

18. Wisteria Flower Tunnel ( Japan )

Wisteria-Flower-Tunnel-Japan2Image credits: imgur.com | mindphoto.blog.fc2.com

19. Zhangye Danxia Landform ( China )

Zhangye-Danxia-Landform-China20. Zhangye Danxia Landform ( China )
Zhangye-Danxia-Landform-China

Trust, but verify! – humor

garbowski.net

Comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband …

 

A wife comes home late at night, and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

 

Leaving the covered bodies groaning, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

 

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

 

“Hi Darling”, he says. “Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say ‘hello’?”

National Park-picture 360 degree view

 

panorama…………   canyonland-Utah canyonlands-Utah

 

 

ENJOY…

 

Next Generation Photography.

 
360 Degree Pictures. Amazing!!
OK, this is absolutely incredible!! Note, it is not just 360 it is 360 at
every latitude…try going up or down!
Don’t get dizzy!!
You can also look straight up and down too.
Click on the pictures below and when they come up, click again
and drag your mouse in any direction and the picture will give you a 360 degree view.

garbowski.net
 it’s amazing

This is real mesmerizing!! 

(You may need to do a Ctrl/Click)

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=sKns1uatyNg&vq=medium
Click on the photo
garbowski.net

Farmer Fleming

I don’t know about the good luck/bad luck part of this at the end, but the story is neat

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman’s sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

‘I want to repay you,’ said the nobleman. ‘You saved my son’s life.’

‘No, I can’t accept payment for what I did,’ the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer’s own son came to the door of the family hovel.

‘Is that your son?’ the nobleman asked.
‘Yes,’ the farmer replied proudly.

‘I’ll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his father, he’ll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.’ And that he did.

Farmer Fleming’s son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary’s Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman’s son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son’s name?

Sir Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

Work like you don’t need the money.

Love like you’ve never been hurt.

Dance like nobody’s watching.

Sing like nobody’s listening.

Live like it’s Heaven on Earth.

AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH:

I hope it works…

May there always be work for your hands to do;

May your purse always hold a coin or two;

May the sun always shine on your windowpane;

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;

May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

And may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you’re dead.

Now…..Make A wish!! I hope you made your wish!

THE TRICK IS TO FIND THE MAN IN THE COFFEE BEANS

This is bizarre – after you find the guy – it’s so obvious.
Once you find him – it’s embarrassing, and you think,
Why didn’t I see him immediately?
Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people.
 
If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein.
If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!

And, yes, the man is really there!!

OUTSTANDING PICTURES

 

70 Lightning Strikes in One Shot

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/06/picture-of-the-day-70-lightning-strikes-in-one-shot/

 

The Craziest Illusion in Paris

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/07/picture-of-the-day-the-craziest-illusion-in-paris/

Ladybug Lands with Style

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/07/picture-of-the-day-ladybug-lands-with-style/

The Edge of Earth – Bunda Cliffs of Australia

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/07/picture-of-the-day-the-edge-of-earth-bunda-cliffs-of-australia/

Stargazing

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/08/picture-of-the-day-stargazing/

Instant Acrophobia

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/09/picture-of-the-day-instant-vertigo/

Livin’ on the Edge

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/09/picture-of-the-day-watch-your-step/

The Stunning Glass winged Butterfly

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/09/picture-of-the-day-the-stunning-glasswinged-butterfly/

Lightning Show at the Grand Canyon

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/09/picture-of-the-day-unbelievable-lightning-show-at-the-grand-canyon/

The Hamilton Pool Nature Preserve in Texas

http://www.imagekind.com/Hamilton-Pool-August--art?imid=88d95f0e-6ab7-4586-aca2-a9c59d9d45f0

Sunset on Mars

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/10/picture-of-the-day-sunset-on-mars/

Autumn in the Adirondacks

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/11/picture-of-the-day-autumn-in-the-adirondacks/

European Beech Trees of Mariemont , Belgium

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/11/picture-of-the-day-european-beech-trees-of-mariemont-belgium/

The Inhabited Volcanic Island of Aogashima

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/11/picture-of-the-day-the-inhabited-volcanic-island-of-aogashima/

The Great Grey Owl

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/11/picture-of-the-day-the-great-grey-owl/

The Cloud Covered Island of Litla Dimun

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/11/picture-of-the-day-cloud-covered-island-of-litla-dimun/

The Miniature Northern Saw-whet Owl

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jasonidzerda/4003273528/

Busiest Train Ever

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/01/picture-of-the-day-busiest-train-ever/

The Blue Lagoon , Ecuador

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/01/picture-of-the-day-the-blue-lagoon-ecuador/

Meanwhile in Chicago .

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/02/picture-of-the-day-meanwhile-in-chicago/

Best Sidecar Ever

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/02/picture-of-the-day-best-sidecar-ever/

The U.S. – Mexico Border

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/02/picture-of-the-day-the-us-mexico-border/

Awww Yeah Flowers!

http://www.wildlights.it/

Rago National Park, Norway

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/04/picture-of-the-day-rago-national-park-norway/

Wheeeeee!

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/04/picture-of-the-day-wheeeeee/

Epic Aerial of Barcelona , Spain

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/04/picture-of-the-day-epic-aerial-of-barcelona-spain/

The Sky Walker

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/04/picture-of-the-day-the-sky-walker/

‘ Crystal ‘ Ice Cave in Skaftafell , Iceland

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/05/picture-of-the-day-crystal-ice-cave-in-iceland/

Festival of Lanterns in Chiang Mai , Thailand

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/05/picture-of-the-day-festival-of-lanterns-in-chiang-mai-thailand/

 

Fields of Lavender in Provence , France

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/05/picture-of-the-day-fields-of-lavender-in-provence-france/

Yarn Bombing in Germany

http://twistedsifter.com/2011/05/picture-of-the-day-yarn-bombing-in-germany/

The Runaway Tree

http://twistedsifter.sifter.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/tree-exposed-roots-nothing-underneath-growing-over-gap.jpg

garbowski.net