Engineers –  who can understand them?     

Understanding Engineers #2

   To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is

 half-empty.  To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

   Understanding Engineers #3

   A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a

 particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with those 

 guys?  We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”  The doctor chimed

 in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”  The priest said,

 “Here comes the greens-keeper.  Let’s have a word with him.”  He said,

 “Hello George, What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather

 slow, aren’t they?”  The greens-keeper replied, “Oh, yes.  That’s a group

 of blind firemen.  They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire

 last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!.”  The group fell

 silent for a moment.  The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say

 a special prayer for them tonight.” The doctor said, “Good idea.  I’m

 going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything

 she can do for them.”  The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”

   Understanding Engineers #4

   What is the difference between mechanical engineers 

and civil engineers?

   Mechanical engineers build weapons.

   Civil engineers build targets 

   Understanding Engineers #5

   The graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”  The 

 graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”  The

 graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”  The

 graduate with an arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

   Understanding Engineers #6

   Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must

 have designed the human body.  One said, “It was a mechanical engineer.

 Just look at all the joints.”  Another said, “No, it was an electrical

 engineer.  The nervous system has many thousands of electrical

 connections.”  The last one said, “No, actually it had to have been a

 civil engineer.  Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a

 recreational area?”

Understanding Engineers #7

   Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers

 believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

   Understanding Engineers #8

   An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him

 and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”  He bent

 over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.  The frog spoke up

 again and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn back into a beautiful princess

 and stay with you for one week.”  The engineer took the frog out of his

 pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.  The frog then cried

 out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you

 for one week and do anything you want.”  Again, the engineer took the frog

 out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.  Finally, the frog

 asked, “What is the matter?  I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and

 that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.  Why won’t

 you kiss me?”  The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer.  I don’t have

 time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog – now that’s cool.”