There are times when the ‘F’ word is not only the right word, but the ONLY appropriate word. Check out the following examples.
The word is ‘Frightening’ of course! What did you think I meant?
‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have beenwith a loose girl’.The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?’
‘I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation’.
Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?’
‘Four month’s vacation and five good leads.’
These are really good. Stuff you didn’t know you didn’t know!
Men can read smaller
print than women can; women can hear better.
———— Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick
The State with the
highest percentage of people who walk to work:
The percentage of
Africa that is wilderness: 28%
(now get this…)
The percentage of
North America that is wilderness: 38%
The cost of raising
a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:
The average number
of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
have more zinc and copper in their hair..
The first novel ever
written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.
The San Francisco
Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck
of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades – King David
Hearts – Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds – Julius Caesar
111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air,
the person died because of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes
Only two people
signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson.Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
Q.. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter ‘A’?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?
A. All were invented
Q. What is the only
food that doesn’t spoil? A. Honey
Q. Which day are there more collect calls
than any other day of the year?A. Father’s Day
In Shakespeare’s time,
mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the
phrase…’Goodnight , sleep tight’
It was the accepted
practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his new son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale
is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old England , when
customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them ‘Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.’ . . .
It’s where we get
the phrase ‘mind your P’s and Q’s’
Many years ago in
England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups.When they needed a refill ,they used the whistle to get some service.‘Wet your whistle’ is the phrase inspired by this practice.
At least 75% of
people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2014 when… 1. You accidentally
enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven’t
played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers
to reach your family of three.4. You e-mail the person who
works at the desk next to you.5. Your reason for not staying in touch
with friends and family is that they
don’t have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your
cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries…7. Every commercial on television
has a Web site at the bottom of the screen 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone,
which you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life,is now a cause for panic and
you turn around to go and get it !Scary isn’t it? J10. You get up in the morning and go on-line
before getting your coffee11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 🙂
12 You’re reading this and
nodding and laughing.13. Even worse, you know exactly
to whom you are going to forward this message.14. You are too busy
to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list
.~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
NOW you’re LAUGHING at yourself!
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves,for they shall never cease to be amused!”(Unknown Author)
Go on, share this with
your friends. You know you want to!And try to lick your elbow againgarbowski.net
Q: Who opened the first drive-in gas station?
A: Gulf opened up the first station in Pittsburgh in 1913.Q: What city was the first to use parking meters?
A: Oklahoma City , on July 16, 1935.Q: Where was the first drive-in restaurant?
A: Royce Hailey’s Pig Stand opened in Dallas in 1921.Q: True or False?
The 1953 Corvette came in white, red and black.
A: False. The 1953 ‘Vetted’ were available in one color, Polo White.Q: What was Ford’s answer to the Chevy Corvette, andother legal street racers of the 1960’s?
A: Carroll Shelby’s Mustang GT350.Q: What was the first car fitted with an alternator,rather than a direct current dynamo?
A: The 1960 Plymouth Valiant.Q: What car first referred to itself as a convertible?
A: The 1904 Thomas Flyer, which had a removable hard top.Q: What car was the first to have its radio antennaembedded in the windshield?
A: The 1969 Pontiac Grand Prix.Q: What car used the first successful series-productionhydraulic valve lifters?
A: The 1930 Cadillac 452, the first production V16.Q: Where was the World’s first three-color traffic lights installed?
A:Detroit, Michigan in 1919.Two years later they experimented with synchronized lights.Q: What type of car had the distinction of being GM’s100 millionth car built in the U.S.?
A: March 16, 1966 saw an Olds Tornado roll out ofLansing, Michigan with that honor.Q: Where was the first drive-in movie theater opened, and when?
A: Camden, NJ in 1933.Q: What autos were the first to use a standardizedproduction key-start system?
A: The 1949 Chryslers.Q: What did the Olds designation 4-4-2 stand for?
A: 4 barrel carburetor, 4 speed transmission, and dual exhaust.Q: What car was the first to place the horn buttonin the center of the steering wheel?
A: The 1915 Scripps-Booth Model C.The car also was the first with electric door latches.Q: WhatU.S. production car has the quickest 0-60 mph time?
A: The 1962 Chevrolet Impala SS 409. Did it in 4.0 seconds.Q: What’s the only car to appear simultaneously onthe covers of Time and Newsweek?
A: The Mustang.Q: What was the lowest priced mass produced American car?
A: The 1925 Ford Model T Runabout. Cost $260, $5 less than 1924.Q: What is the fastest internal-combustion American production car?
A: The 1998 Dodge Viper GETS-R, tested by Motor Trendmagazine at 192.6 mph.Q: What automaker’s first logo incorporated the Star of David?
A: The Dodge Brothers.Q: Who wrote to Henry Ford, “I have drove fords exclusivelywhen I could get away with one. It has got every other carskinned, and even if my business hasn’t been strictly legalit don’t hurt anything to tell you what a fine car you got inthe V-8″?
A:Clyde Barrow (of Bonnie and Clyde) in 1934.Q: What was the first car to use power operated seats?
A: They were first used on the 1947 Packard line.Q: Which of the Chrysler “letter cars” sold the fewest amount?
A: Only 400, 1963, 300J’s were sold(they skipped “I” because it looked like a number 1).Q: What car delivered the first production V12 engine?
A: The cylinder wars were kicked off in 1915 after Packard’s chief
engineer, Col. Jesse Vincent, introduced its Twin-Sis.Q: When were seat belts first fitted to a motor vehicle?
A: In 1902, in a Baker Electric streamliner racerwhich crashed at 100 mph on Staten Island.
Q: Which car company started out German,yet became French after WWI?
A: Bugati, founded in Molsheim in 1909,became French when Alsace returned to French rule.Q: In what model year did Cadillac introduce the first
A: 1969Q: What U.S. production car had the largest 4 cylinder engine?
A: The 1907 Thomas sported a 571 cu.in. (9.2liter) engine.Q: What car was reportedly designed on the back of a NorthwestAirlines airsickness bag and released on April Fool’s Day, 1970?
A: 1970 Gremlin, (AMC)Q: What is the Spirit of Ecstasy?
A: The official name of the mascot of Rolls Royce,she is the lady on top of their radiators.Q: What was the inspiration for MG’s famed
A: The shape of founder Cecil Kimber’s dining table.MG stands for ‘Morris Garages’.only at garbowski.net
Pakistani Pile Driver
The recent, horrible and tragic building collapses in South Asia have already resulted in the adoption of new building construction standards and practices … in a regulatory effort to ensure this type of disaster never again occurs.
Only a month after more than 1,100 Bangladeshi garment workers lost their lives in the collapse of a badly-built and poorly-maintained eight – story building, the new building code has – thankfully – gone into force … and its rigid practices are already being applied by highly-skilled and properly-trained construction teams labouring on job-sites all across the sub-continent.
Especially for those of you with some construction work in your background I give you this (CLICK BELOW)
The foreman is the guy on the tambourine.
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Without missing a beat Margaret replied, “Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.”
“Good friends are like quilts-they age with you, yet never lose their warmth.”
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, to soon before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play on the computer until 4 AM, or sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s, 60s & 70s, and if I, at the same time,wish to weep over a lost love, I will.
I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to,
despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, eventually, I remember the important things.
Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion.
A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning
gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer a question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.
And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).
MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S STRAIGHT
FROM THE HEART!