For those that don’t know about history, here is a condensed version:
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at nightwhile they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement….
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wineor imported bottled water. They eat raw fish
but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.Most social workers,personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamersin Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer,mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little. They prefer to govern the producers….and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get something for nothing.
Here ends today’s lesson in world history:
It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolutetruth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self…